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The worst part of dating — or, to be more accurate, of being single? The second your brain switches into doubt, the downward spiral begins. The not-quite-able-to-catch-my-breath anxiety feeling. Believing you can love again shows a great deal of faith but will also have you less interested in people who fit a negative belief. I resolved to work on myself, figure my shit out before I was ready to re-enter the dating world. Threw out all his crap last night (realized a relationship ending on trash day is really ideal), including perfectly good bottles of wine…just don’t want any reminders of that f’er at all.

This is because what you believe is what you predict will happen, is how you will act accordingly, is how you’ll end up catering to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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You’ll go about your merry way getting on with your life instead of feeling down and desperate to prove yourself wrong in a wrong relationship. I figured — what the hay — it’s time for me to throw my hat back in the ring. He tells me he’s “separated” from his wife but will be divorcing. So I continued to date him, things are great, he’s telling me he’s falling for me, until…well, until yesterday when he informs me that, no, he’s NOT really separated, and that he wants to work things out with his wife.

So on last night, I contacted the following guys (“screen names” here made up to protect the innocent) You’ll notice that I have little to say about these guys and why I liked them. I viewed their profiles last night, before the idea for this blog was born. And that hat landed in the ring with a mild “poof”, a small plume of dust, and nary a guy I was interested in. Not ideal at all, but I saw a lot of POTENTIAL in him.

If I go to their profiles to remind myself what I liked about each guy, they’ll be able to see that…

so I’ll be the crazy chick who messaged him last night, didn’t hear back, and visiting his profile again. Cheek Pusher (38/M/Princeton NJ) 95% match/88% friend/7% enemy (So named because profile pic has a child pushing his cheek) What stands out is that he seemed to be on a quest for happiness, as I am, and that he likes the movie Airplane.

going to stick to okcupid, and I guess pray there’s some amazing guy who has somehow slipped through my search filters, or that some new guy will log on.